Learning to Fly

Oh Sambo! I have a confession to make. I've been asked countless times by friends - and even you - if I'm anxious about MIDDLE SCHOOL. I have confidently said no. But I lied. 

I awoke from a peaceful sleep wondering if I bought the right school supplies, backpack, back to school clothes, where to park the first day to watch you walk in, what to pack in your lunch, who you would walk in with, should we have gotten you a phone, and how I'd know if you were ok. Seven hours of middle school for an anxious mom is a lot longer than 7 hours of elementary school.

I have prayed for hours for your safety, happiness, and personal best. But I forgot to pray for my own peace!!! I can feel God working on my heart though, because every time we discuss the "big first day" you exude a very quiet confidence. You always say, "Mom! I'm looking forward to it. I'm gonna be ok." And I know that's Him calming my fears. He's telling me that you won't be gobbled up by the giant hairy monster they call middle school! He has planted you firmly.

You know it's a character flaw of mine, that I've never done well on first (or last) days. There have been tears, long walks, prayer, prayer, and more prayer, phone calls to and from Muzzy and sweet friends. There was even the rocking chair incident the night before you started 5K - for which I profusely apologize as I woke you up to "rock you one more time". Can we just blame it on the pregnancy hormones? Sorry. All my emotional mayhem and craziness...Well, it's just my way of saying I'm proud of who you're becoming and thanking The Lord for the time I've gotten to spend with you. 

I blogged at some point about how we are "growing up" together. All your firsts are my firsts too. Sorry if I've made you the guinea pig of my parenting. I'm learning as I go. Even with all my epic parenting failures, you have made us proud and paved a great way for your brothers. They have an excellent role model in you. 

We can't wait to see how you grow and shine over the next few years. Remember! Just as I watched you navigate your first steps around our house, negotiating each corner and threshold, I will stand by, watching as you cruise through middle school and be here to help you if you become unsteady. And I can always rock you, if need be too! Just kidding. Ok not just kidding.

All the supplies, clothes, parking, etc. are not really the anxiety. It's that I'm sending you off somewhere bigger and more out of my reach. I'm really beginning to understand how momma birds feel now. But Sam, I'm going to have faith in your faith... It's going to be grand! And just so you know, so I can stay in the loop, I still may or may not sub in your theater class and make y'all act out scenes and songs from The Little Mermaid...my favorite Disney Cartoonsical!

I love you sweet Baby Bitzy!!! Now spread your wings and fly. 

Mmmmmmuuuuaaaaahhhh!!! 

Right Now - MARCH

Right now I have a terrible head cold. I blame it on subbing. I worked several days last week and even told my mom and Shan that I'd be sick this week. I am. {No picture of that is necessary.}

 

Right now I am laughing to myself because I sent Fulton to school bustin' a sag and with his pants on the ground because I gave him Sam's jeans this morning. Hello tired.

 

 

Right now I am stepping over these in my living room because I just am.

 

 

Right now I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of my cow chair!

 

 

Right now this beauty is getting recovered. 'Bout time. Right? The men in white coats {the man in the white van} came and got her last week.

 

 

Right now I am very thankful for my sweet church friends who we had some good laughs with tonight at the Shrove Tuesday pancake supper.

 

 

 

Right now I am freezing and cannot wait for warmer weather this weekend. This has been the longest winter EVER.

 

 

What are you doing right now?



Qualified

I have been drafting this post for a little while now and kept debating over whether or not to post it. It's not really a controversy. It's just a mama's heart and her passion for her perfectly imperfect children.

And then today, I felt inspired to post this because of this. My dear friend posted it on Facebook and it gave me the nudge.
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Qualified.

It's a word I have heard way too much of recently.

"Did y'all qualify for anything?" "What is he qualified for?" "Was he state identified and qualified? Or qualified for the school year?"

Qualified? For what?

Middle school class placement. AAP or Regular.

There has been so much chatter among the 5th graders and parents. The pressure is palpable. You feel almost forced to join in, no matter how much you said you wouldn't.

For something I had decided to put in God's hands to turn into such angst is just torture. I had made up my mind that I was not going to let it bother our family, but the chatter is everywhere I have turned. I couldn't help but become wrapped up in it, thinking I wasn't fighting enough for the desirable title of advanced placement in middle school academia for my child.

Word of Caution: As a first time 5th grade parent, at every turn you'll hear one seasoned middle-school parent advise that "it will all be okay". Yet other seasoned and some not-so-seasoned parents advise that they MUST qualify for Advanced Placement because you'd be a fool to let your child be in classes with all "those kinds of people" (real quote).

Well, I have taken both sides to heart. I've been relieved that it'll all be okay and anxious at the same time. I've asked questions - lots, and made phone calls to the "officials".

And then it suddenly occurred to me that average (regular) has been reduced to "those kinds of people".

As I've become more and more anxious, I'm sure my poor child has too.

So here are my questions for the tens of people who read my blog...
Why are we doing this? When did being average become not good enough?

I know lots of really awesome average people.

For starters, my husband. He's average for sure, if you judge him by his middle school through college test scores. But he's still average in lots of ways and manages to have a very important job with a very large company. He amazes me every day and makes me and his parents very proud.

Me? I am average too. Actually, in 1985 this learning disabled little girl would not have "qualified" for anything but "the dumb reading group". Well, it took me a while, but I went on to graduate from college as a Speech Therapist... with HONORS! (Thank you very much, Ms. Mitchell. I wonder if she reads this blog and counts my typos, overuse of commas, and grammatical errors? I sure hope so.)

Can y'all help me with making average okay again? It would really do a couple of generations of people a whole-lotta good.

So back to the question.

Is Sam qualified? Absolutely! He was "qualified" in God's plan long before I knew he'd be mine.
Recently, I've been praying for the right scripture to share with him, to give him a boost for the days when he thinks he's not good enough or "qualified". Maybe you can share a verse or two with someone you know who struggles with being average.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. -Ephesians 2:10
        
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. -Psalm 139:13-14
 
But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. -Isaiah 64:8

Reading those makes me feel far more than average. You?

Any who... go hug and high-five your average child.