Comparing Crosses

I grew up Catholic and am now a practicing Episcopalian. Lent has always been a really huge deal in my Spiritual life. It's a time to reflect, repent, and take up your cross. I love the personal gains I make each year during those 40 days. Lent to me is kinda like the spiritual New Year's resolution. But my favorite day of Lent is Ash Wednesday! And if you're even remotely familiar with the Holy Day, you'll understand my reason why. Sadly, it's not even a holy reason at all.

 

Like I said, I grew up Catholic. Went to Catholic school for 11 years (I was the heathen in my family who bailed and graduated from one of those other places...you know...public school.) We observed every Holy Day with an intense academic lesson leading up to it and celebrated it with all the pomp and circumstance of a full Mass. That's one thing I love about the Catholics, Episcopalians, and Lutherans, they do it up right!

 

Any who. I have always favored Ash Wednesday, simply because of the stir that the cross on your forehead causes. It cracks me up every year. Just FYI, in case you don't know, the cross that goes on your forehead is made with the ashes from the burned palm branches of the last Palm Sunday. The ashes symbolize that we came from dust and to dust we shall return. The little piece that they say when they administer the ashes comes from Genesis, I believe.

 

So this year, I noticed the same giddiness in my boys that I still get on Ash Wednesday...which happens to be a gigantic no-no in the church. You're supposed to be somber and in reflection, but you just can't help noticing what everyone's cross looks like as they parade back to their seats. You ogle at the darkness, thickness, thinness, and the ones that resemble other objects. You wonder if some people will notice the stray ashes that have sprinkled onto their noses. Should you tell them? Is it bad to wipe those off? Do those count the same? Because you're not supposed to wipe off the ones on your forehead.

 

Then when you get back to your pew, you check out your neighbor's ashes and you may even snicker about the shape or size. It's kind of funny to compare crosses. If you have bangs, you hold them up just so, so your neighbor can give you a nod or thumbs up on the artistry of your very personalized cross. If you've been there, you know this is kinda the unspoken order of things during the service.

 

Then you go out in public with your cross on your forehead. I love the instant connection you feel when you spot someone else with their ashes. Makes you wanna give 'em a fist bump or a peace out. It always amazes me the looks I get from the poor clueless folks though. And it blows me away the number of people who seriously do not know that the ashes are a religious thing. The looks and questions still make me chuckle after all these years. I have been asked if I knew that there was dirt on my head many times. I have been asked if my pen leaked. And the best so far was the waitress the other night who said..."I've seen a couple of people with that today. Is that for medical purposes?" I said, "Yes! It's the ashes from the medicinal marijuana I smoked earlier. It makes it last longer." No. I didn't really say that, but I really wanted to. 

Last week, when I got back to the pew, Sam said mom, yours looks like a person. I giggled. Then he and Fulton asked me what theirs looked like. I told them sorry guys, nothing exciting, just dusty crosses. Fulton asked if he could go to the bathroom to check his out. I can remember wanting to do the same, but my answer was No! you can wait. Same conversations we have every year. It's hilarious the anticipation that builds when you have to wait to check out your cross!  

When I left church, I headed to my ukulele class at my friend's art studio, and the girls in there all got it. No crazy stares or questions. But! They did exactly what I was talking about ^^^ up there. They were sizing up my cross compared to the others they had seen that day. We all laughed about the awkwardness of it and shared our funny cross stories. At one point someone said Wow! That's a big one. It kinda looks like an animal, but I don't know what. They said dog, horse, etc..

And then, lo and behold! We figured it out...

 

We had found my ashes' twin. Isn't he cute?!? Totally irreverent, but totally funny and true. I had Christi's cow on my forehead.

 

I better stop before I get excommunicated from the church. Now back to repenting and being somber.

 

Qualified

I have been drafting this post for a little while now and kept debating over whether or not to post it. It's not really a controversy. It's just a mama's heart and her passion for her perfectly imperfect children.

And then today, I felt inspired to post this because of this. My dear friend posted it on Facebook and it gave me the nudge.
------------------------------------------

Qualified.

It's a word I have heard way too much of recently.

"Did y'all qualify for anything?" "What is he qualified for?" "Was he state identified and qualified? Or qualified for the school year?"

Qualified? For what?

Middle school class placement. AAP or Regular.

There has been so much chatter among the 5th graders and parents. The pressure is palpable. You feel almost forced to join in, no matter how much you said you wouldn't.

For something I had decided to put in God's hands to turn into such angst is just torture. I had made up my mind that I was not going to let it bother our family, but the chatter is everywhere I have turned. I couldn't help but become wrapped up in it, thinking I wasn't fighting enough for the desirable title of advanced placement in middle school academia for my child.

Word of Caution: As a first time 5th grade parent, at every turn you'll hear one seasoned middle-school parent advise that "it will all be okay". Yet other seasoned and some not-so-seasoned parents advise that they MUST qualify for Advanced Placement because you'd be a fool to let your child be in classes with all "those kinds of people" (real quote).

Well, I have taken both sides to heart. I've been relieved that it'll all be okay and anxious at the same time. I've asked questions - lots, and made phone calls to the "officials".

And then it suddenly occurred to me that average (regular) has been reduced to "those kinds of people".

As I've become more and more anxious, I'm sure my poor child has too.

So here are my questions for the tens of people who read my blog...
Why are we doing this? When did being average become not good enough?

I know lots of really awesome average people.

For starters, my husband. He's average for sure, if you judge him by his middle school through college test scores. But he's still average in lots of ways and manages to have a very important job with a very large company. He amazes me every day and makes me and his parents very proud.

Me? I am average too. Actually, in 1985 this learning disabled little girl would not have "qualified" for anything but "the dumb reading group". Well, it took me a while, but I went on to graduate from college as a Speech Therapist... with HONORS! (Thank you very much, Ms. Mitchell. I wonder if she reads this blog and counts my typos, overuse of commas, and grammatical errors? I sure hope so.)

Can y'all help me with making average okay again? It would really do a couple of generations of people a whole-lotta good.

So back to the question.

Is Sam qualified? Absolutely! He was "qualified" in God's plan long before I knew he'd be mine.
Recently, I've been praying for the right scripture to share with him, to give him a boost for the days when he thinks he's not good enough or "qualified". Maybe you can share a verse or two with someone you know who struggles with being average.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. -Ephesians 2:10
        
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. -Psalm 139:13-14
 
But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. -Isaiah 64:8

Reading those makes me feel far more than average. You?

Any who... go hug and high-five your average child.

Letting Go

Well. Happy New Year!

It's 2014 already? So hard to believe.

My New Year post is a little delayed, but then again, it's doing a lot better than my Thanksgiving and Christmas posts that never even made it to the blog.

 I love the fresh start of the new year! For me, it's a chance to wipe the slate clean; out with the old, in with the new. I thought about doing a post on my resolutions, but then I remembered that resolutions and I don't get along. I do better resolving to make changes randomly throughout the year...as they come to me. I definitely have goals for 2014 in mind. I just don't necessarily feel like I have to change everything starting January 1st. I get too overwhelmed and fear failure.

I've spent the last few days reflecting on 2013 and what kind of year it was. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad either. I think the most distinguishable theme of last year is "letting go".

I'm not a "let-goer" by nature. I usually hang on for dear life.
Afraid of change, I cling to people, events, traditions, and idols. Letting go is hard. It can be liberating and bittersweet in some cases. Painful in others. Sometimes letting go of something hurts so badly in that moment, but it only means God is preparing us for something better.

It seems like I had a lot of that this past year.

I am still in the process of letting a few things go. Unfortunately, they didn't disappear at midnight on December 31, 2013!

I'm still trying to let go of my long-time idol and crutch called ANXIETY {it's a daily struggle}.

 

I said SEE-YA! to a few friendships that were often one-sided and a few that were recently very hurtful.

I am still letting go of the idea of not having my Aunt Laynie. The holidays make it rough!

 

I had to let go of an awkward and hurtful situation where my help was requested and was in turn perceived as invasive. 

I let go of the idea that I was still 18 {or at least 25}, as I celebrated my 20th high school reunion.

 I let go of my baby Ver and our 9-12 preschool days when he went to big-boy school with his brothers.

It was very long overdue that I purge the baby gear, so I let it go too. {It served me VERY well through all three.}
I also let go of having any more babies.

 

And as always, I tried to find a little humor in letting go of certain things...

 

I had to let go of my fear of operating heavy "machinery" {a 4-wheeler on a very steep mountain} and flying by myself.

 

Though it may not be a big deal to the average person, it's HUGE for me. I let go of my need to create thematically coordinated Halloween costumes and let the boys pick and design their own. (I only helped where asked.}

And at the end of 2013, I let go of a seven year volunteer tradition that is near and dear to my heart.

 

 

 

I am sure I let go of many other little things along the way, but in my heart, these were pretty big things.

 

I let go feeling a little heavy hearted but a little lighter at the same time.

 

Letting go is a weird thing.

 

But as The Truth states:

 

Forget the former things;

    do not dwell on the past. 

See, I am doing a new thing!

    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland. -Isaiah 43:18-19

 

I must move forward, excited for the "NEW things".

 

God's Peace to you in the New Year!

 

Joy comes in the morning!

On Monday my big boys started school. Fulton is now a 2nd grader and Sam is a 5th grader!

Unbelievable!!!

The night before school starts is always filled with great anticipation. We sat around the table eating our ice cream sundaes and I asked each boy what their hope was for the new school year. Their answers were the obvious... do well, make more friends, have fun, get extra recess, etc.

Sam had been feeling a little more apprehensive about the start of the new school year. The last few days he had been talking a lot about it being his last year of elementary school and asking what middle school will be like. He's in those really awkward years - stuck between wanting to feel grown up and still wanting to be a little boy. I remember like it was yesterday having the same feeling. It's so hard!

On Sunday night as I was preparing to tuck everyone in, Sam came into Oliver's room and asked if I'd snuggle with him a little longer. When I got into his room he hopped up on the bed with the picture book "Pickles to Pittsburgh" by Judi Barrett {the sequel to "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs"}. He said, "mom, will you read me this book tonight?"

I was a little surprised as Sam hasn't wanted me to read ANYTHING to him in about 2 or 3 years. He's been a very independent reader for a while. I said, "sure, but wouldn't you rather read it to me?"

He tearfully answered, "No, I want you to because this is what I love about being a kid... I have so many good memories of our time together and I'm afraid to grow up!"

Needless to say, I was in a flood of tears as I reassured him that growing up is good! And just because you grow up doesn't mean you won't have good memories.

His concern is that those "memories will be so far away" as he gets older. Again, I know exactly what he means. It seems like childhood was just a blip on the radar. We settled down, I read his book - holding back more tears, said our prayers, and I tucked him in.

I am so thankful that he asked me to read that book to him, that he shared his heart with me, and that we have created good memories for him. But at the same time I got so incredibly sad that he really is growing up in the blink of an eye. I was emotionally drained by the time I finally went to sleep.

Even after all that...Sam jumped up and was ready for school in record time. Fulton was his usual skippy morning-person self. Oliver was bummed that he has to wait until next week to start school. And the whole family was up and running bright and early! We all felt excited and refreshed.

Sam - 5th grade, Fulton - 2nd grade and Superman in pajamas starts All-day 4k next week {Lawd Help!}



It was a delightful reminder of Psalm 30:5(b)- Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes in the morning.

'Tis true, folks. 'Tis true! Life can be an emotional roller coaster, but we are always restored by His promises. 

So for now, I'll continue hanging on to their childhood for dear life, making memories... even if it means I have to read picture books to each one of them every.single.night for the rest of their lives!

At A Loss

I don't even know where to start. I didn't think I would return from a 3 month break with this kind of update.

The month has been so VERY hard for us. It's bad enough when you lose one person, not to mention, two. On February 27th we lost my mom's oldest sister Elaine {"Laynie"} and 2 weeks later we lost my precious 98 year-old great-aunt Nita. It's all been quite overwhelming.

It's been exactly one month since I said good-bye to one of my favorite people on this earth. My Aunt Laynie was one of the most beautiful women - inside and out - that I have been blessed to have in my life.

I keep thinking it's all a bad dream. But it's not. And the reality of it is extremely hard to accept. It seems like everywhere I look in my house there is something that triggers a memory of her or a desire to talk to her.

Fortunately, I had the opportunity the day before she passed to sit by her bedside and tell her how much I loved her and thank her for all she had ever done for me and my boys. I prayed with her and held onto her hand so tightly, dreading the moment I'd have to let go. It was painful to leave her room. I prayed for peace and the wisdom to know when I had told her all that was on my heart. I didn't want to leave out one.single.thing.

My cousin Emily, her granddaughter, delivered the most beautiful eulogy. When she was compiling all the necessary details, she asked us to describe her "Mimi". I said in one word, "selfless", which sums her up completely. But as I use this little blog to archive these times in my life, I just have to document and share who she was to me in more than a word. She was "My Laynie" {A little possessive, ya think?}, a true inspiration.

She was born  May 23,1938 and her name at birth was Claudia Elaine. When I was born my parents gave me her first name and I have always been honored to have it. My whole life we've had an extra special bond. At birth she called me "Rosebud", but as I grew up Rosebud turned into "Blossom". I can still hear her voice in my head. "How's my sweet Blossom?", she'd always ask.

Her only daughter Renee - who's more or less a big sister to me -  is about 17 years older than me. So while she was off at college, my Aunt Laynie and Uncle Russ - an equally amazing man who passed away when I was 15 -  borrowed me for their entertainment. I spent many nights at their house and enjoyed being spoiled! My weekends at their house were made up of special dinners out at Steak & Ale, Shoney's for all-you-can-eat shrimp night - where she taught me to peel boiled shrimp, animal pancakes for breakfast, coffee-milk on the porch, crafts, and fishing. I flash back to those days frequently and without fail I get the most warm and fuzzy feeling all over. I am so thankful for those memories. She had me so rotten that sometimes, as a child, when I was upset or feeling bad, I would call out for her, "I want my Laynie!" I'm sure it made my poor momma feel great! ;-)

On top of all that, she never missed a dance recital, graduation, sacrament, or birthday of mine. On my last birthday, even though she wasn't feeling well, my mom made sure she had a card to sign for me. I am so thankful my mom knew how important it was for me to have "just one more card". I cried as I read her simple birthday message, knowing it would be the last. I will cherish it forever.

Her kind deeds were countless! I recall one of the coolest outfits a preteen could have owned was MINE because of one of our shopping trips to Tapp's. It was an ESPRIT eggplant-colored flared skirt with an off-white top donning tiny Aborigines in beautiful jewel tones that I wore with my eggplant-colored suede flats. It. Was. Awesome! I remember her bending over backwards to help my mom on my wedding day. And then there was the time that a very swollen, pregnant girl's washing machine broke while she was supposed to be on bed rest. The laundry was piled to the ceiling. The poor pregnant girl came home to find that the Laundry Elves {mom and Laynie} had visited and left her a new washing machine and folded stacks of clean baby clothes. She was so, so good to me.

Her goodness will never be forgotten by those who knew her. In her life and in her suffering, her inspiration never ceased.

Before her diagnosis, Aunt Laynie shared her life-verse with me. I'm not sure why, but I'm forever grateful that she did. She lived every aspect of her life through this verse and it now has an extra special meaning to those of us touched as a result of her service to her family and to the Lord.

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. -Psalm 19:14

After 2 years of battling lung cancer, God saw that her body was growing tired. Even though I selfishly want her here with me - healthy, laughing, and baking her famous Cocoon cookies - HE no longer wanted her to suffer and wanted her to be reunited with my Uncle Russ for eternity. It's that cardinal reminder that we belong to HIM and as much as I hated to let "MY Laynie" go, the good Lord called for "HIS Laynie" to come home.

Aunt Laynie and Uncle Russ - The love of her life.

My heart aches everyday for my mom and her siblings, my cousin Renee and her girls, and all those she touched. We are going to miss her so very, very much!

October 2005 - My mom's siblings with Aunt Nita: Uncle Robert, Aunt Laynie, Aunt Judy, Momma, Great Aunt Nita, Uncle Phil

May 2008 - Laynie's 70th Birthday: Aunt Laynie, Emily (one of her 2 granddaughters), Renee
 

October 2011

 

 

November 2011

I love you, Laynie...and miss you so incredibly much!

{You} have fought the good fight, {you} have finished the race, {you} have kept the faith.
-2 Timothy 4:7

VBS 2012

I had all intentions of doing a couple of posts this week, but it has ended up being one of those weeks where I haven't had a chance to come up for air. Shan is traveling and I am flying solo. It's a really big week for my volunteer obligations with Junior League and church, so finding the time to sit down and blog has been tough.

This week is also one of my most favorite weeks of the year. IT'S VBS WEEK at our church!!! The week is filled with positivity, joy, good thoughts, and reminders that we have a loving, mighty, and trustworthy God. Without fail, each year I am moved to tears at some point. Sometimes it's a Bible lesson that gets me, a parent's praise or story of how we have reached their child. Or sometimes it's just watching the children sing at the top of their lungs and dance their hearts out. It is always an emotional time for me!

In the past I have been a crew or activity leader, but this year my friend Sarah asked me to help her chair and I accepted. We recruited some awesome volunteers from our church and friendship circles and they helped us pull off a fabulous week. We truly couldn't have done it without them!

We used the Group Curriculum - "Sky". The theme was about trusting God no matter who, what, when, or where you are. The message was so very simple, yet so profound for these children. I had many parents tell me how excited they were that their children were retaining so much and even better, SPREADING THE GOOD NEWS to their friends and families. It such a good feeling to get that kind of feedback... we are doing our jobs!

In my opinion, the music this year was some of the best in a couple of years. I just love the energy it creates. The children all have their personal favorite tunes and can't wait to hear them each day. My boys ask me to play their favorite tracks on the CD on the way to VBS in the mornings and want me to crank it up as loud as they can tolerate. I love it! It puts me in such a good mood. I wish everyday could be like VBS! I happen to have my own fave... "I'll Fly Away". Only, I like to sing it as obnoxiously soulful as possible. In fact, I had all the boys convinced yesterday that I had previously been in a Gospel choir. They thought that was the coolest thing ever!!! Is that wrong?

Any who, we head to the church for our Family Finale and Dinner tonight and another VBS year will have come and gone. I am grateful for all the volunteers who make this week happen, all the parents who bring their children, and for our Lord who gives us this opportunity to fill their hearts with The Word!

XO,

C'mon Get Happy!

The last 6 weeks have been very trying to say the least.

We went on our fabulous Baker Road Trip and it all seemed to start spiraling from there.
I suddenly began to have migraine headaches WITH aura about 3-4x a day from April 3rd-ish to May 2nd. At times they were so severe I truly thought I may be having mini-strokes because of my visual disturbances and pain. This was all totally strange and frightening because I do NOT get headaches.

At the advice of good friends and their ability to pull some strings, I slid right on in to a neurologist's office who told me originally that it'd be the end of June for new referrals. Um, no thanks! But I got in that same day. He scheduled an MRI and my report came back fine. But now I have to figure out my "triggers" for my new ailment and learn how to manage them. My follow up is in a couple of weeks, so we shall see!

My Papa passed away last week on May 7th. We had been expecting it, but it doesn't make it any easier. I am going to really miss him and his stories. And my heart is still very sad for my dad. I plan to write a tribute to Papa very soon.

My Aunt Laynie and her daughter Renee {my cousin} are both very ill and I am praying for miracles. I'd love it if you would too. I love both of them beyond words and I also believe in miracles.

Yesterday Oliver woke up with an odd bug bite on his calf and wouldn't use his leg at all! I ended up at the doctor having it lanced. Poor Oliver! It broke my heart because he does NOT cry, but he did today. LOTS. We are now on heavy duty antibiotics to prevent staph. Fun stuff.

Not to mention... it has rained and rained and rained so much that Shan and I are about to start building an ark!

Any who...
It seems I've been surrounded by lots of gloom recently, so it's the small blessings and little things I am rejoicing in today.

1) My most recent Etsy feedback made me smile.
2) My awesome new hairbrush that baby-Ver picked out by accident at the drug store. I love it!

3) My Aunt Laynie's MRI of her spine came back negative.
4) Our VBS that was on the verge of being cancelled is back on and the volunteers are steadily coming in. So thankful!

 Columbia folks, register here.
5) My new Bible study

and Sunday School

are helping me to keep my eyes on Him to get over these hurdles.
6) This little person

said "I'm so lucky you're my mom!" this morning before he went to school.

I am truly thankful for those of you who know "where I am" right now and all your prayers. I am looking forward with hope that things will be looking up soon.
XO

Time.

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Time.
We have God's word that there is a time for everything.
And there definitely is.
During the holidays, so many things - emotions, activities, obligations, traditions, etc. - are crammed into such a small amount of time.
I love the hustle and bustle, but love the calmness and peacefulness at the same time. It's weird and can be quite hard to manage at times. But we see the holidays come and go each year and I always wonder if I did too much or did too little. I'm still waiting for the year that I feel juuuust right.
I wonder if I'll ever feel that way?

If Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 had been written by me about the past month it would go something like this:

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2 a time to set up market and a time to break it down,
a time to hunt for and decorate the perfect tree and a time to grind the greens,
3 a time to shop for gifts and a time to return them because you're clearly not the "medium" your husband likes to think you are,
a time to wrap and tie beautiful bows and a time to unwrap them and put the beautiful paper and bows in the trash,

4 a time to bake 3 batches of biscottis and a time to selfishly hide the last one so no one else gets it,
a time to reunite with the best of friends and a time to say good-bye again,

5 a time to worry about the poor health of loved ones and a time to pray {lots} for their comfort and healing,
a time to spread some holiday cheer and a time to receive it with a grateful heart,

6 a time to dress in holiday duds and a time to stay in warm fuzzy PJs all day,
a time to over-indulge in dips made with cream cheese and a time to get on the scale and have a panic attack,

7 a time to design, print, and ship Christmas card orders and a time to proudly display each one you receive on the wall,
a time for Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree and a time for Silent Night,

8 a time to remember that precious baby born in a stable many years ago and a time to remind yourself and children of the REAL reason for Christmas,
a time to reflect on the good and bad of the year that has passed and a time to toast a new one.

As we wind down the holiday season and begin a new year, I am praying that I will be blessed with the ability to better manage my time throughout the year and recognize the appropriate "time for everything".

Happy New Year!

Christmas recap to follow...stay tuned!

Fabulous Day for a Cause

This past weekend was the Palmetto Health Walk for Life to benefit breast cancer treatment and research. It was the most beautiful morning! It was sunny with the bluest sky and the temp was about 60 degrees. I couldn't have hand picked a prettier day. I was an active participant in this event for years, during and shortly after college. I haven't participated in several years and I realized on Saturday how much I miss it! I met with a few of my sweet friends from church to walk in honor of our dear friend, Alice.

This event is so wonderful on so many levels. Our large group broke off into smaller groups as the walk got under-way. A couple of girls I walked with are my friends through church, but I have never really gotten to know them. We spent about an hour-and-a-half chit chatting, sharing stories, laughing, and talking about our plans for our homes and children. I really enjoyed getting to know them better. We got to enjoy the perfect weather, bond with good friends, and got in a great walk at the same time! All this while raising money for a really good cause!

Back to Alice! Alice was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this year. Like so many women, she has this terrible disease, but it DOESN'T have her. She has had the most amazing attitude and faith in God to pull her through this. The verse she clings to comes from Isaiah 40:31

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Alice has a great story to tell about being a "Spider Fighter", her diagnosis, and determination to fight this. I'd  love to have her share it on my blog one day. She is a true fighter and inspiration. Her struggle hits very close to home, as she is a young, busy mother of three beautiful young ladies. I will continue to pray for her healing and speedy recovery, as well as a breakthrough in fighting this terrible disease. Won't you join me in prayer?

So here's to Alice and all the women fighting all kinds of cancers!

Go Team Alice!!! Alice, The #1 Spider Fighter, is the little pink dot in the middle who the girls are holding up

Pre-walk

Katie, Sarah, Wendy, Me, Katherine, Birley, and Christine

Devoholic

Hi! My name is "The Manager" and I'm a Devoholic!

Wow! That feels good.

Y'all might remember my post on my "Devo-Bin". I have a bin full, shelf full, and Iphone full of inspirational and devotional books, blogs, and apps. You can't have too many, I don't think. I like them all for different reasons. I think it is so interesting that whichever one(s) I choose to pick up or click on they some how speak to me that day. (It's probably because I'm so screwed up and need so much help that ANYTHING could speak to me...even if a dog wrote it.) Seriously. It's almost as if I'm led to the WORD at the right moments. I LOVE THAT! Sometimes, even if I can't apply it to a current issue, I can reflect on it at a later date. I LOVE THAT TOO.

There are so many talented people who have the ability to minister through these devotionals and inspirational texts and websites. I admire the way they can reach out and touch so many hearts...hearts looking for direction, hearts looking to minister, hearts looking to heal, hearts looking to forgive. It really is an awesome gift, divinely granted.

I thought I'd share my faves.

About Children:
Book- Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian
Web (also available in print)- 31 Biblical Virtues to pray for Your Children

For Children:
Book- Veggie Tales 365 Very Veggie Devos for Kids
Web- Keys for Kids (register to have them come to your email inbox)

For Couples (together):
Book- Moments Together for Couples by Barbara and Dennis Rainey, The Love Dare
Web- Crosswalk Moments Together Daily Devotional

For Marriage:
Book- Power of a Praying Husband, Power of a Praying Wife both by Stormie Omartian

For Organization/Inspiration:
Book- More Hours in My Day by Emilie Barnes, The One Year Devotions for Women by Jill Briscoe
Web- Proverbs 31 Ministry

For Peace:
Book- Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

General:
App- (iphone) You Version Bible App, iTalk to God (free for iphone), Logos Bible (for iphone)
Book- The Essential Bible Guide by Whitney Kuniholm

Any who...thought I'd share!
Let me know if I'm missing out on any really good ones. I'm up for studies or daily devos!

That's all I have to say about that.

That was me in my senior year of high school.

I like to think that I was a nice girl. Actually, I'm pretty darn sure I was a nice girl. I am now in the 35+ category (YIKES!!!) and believe that I am STILL a nice girl.

I realized way back then that we are not all dealt the same hands. Some more fortunate than others. Some prettier than others. Some smarter than others. I'm thinking that I was usually in the "others" category, but very blessed, nonetheless. At the guidance of my parents, I learned that just because you have been dealt a better hand than others does not give you the right to feel superior, let alone BULLY, CRITICISE, BELITTLE, or EMBARRASS those who were not.

Now, I'm sure I had my fair share of high school drama, BUT I can safely say that I was NEVER a "mean girl". Nor, did I fall victim to one of them. But I knew who the "mean girls" were. I remember them quite well. I even remember the "mean girls" older and younger. They are people you never forget. They are the people you can't wait to see what they've become at your high school reunions. And even though you know it's wrong...you secretly, for a very brief and un-Christian-like moment want to see them bite it in front of everyone. Uh huh...you know who I'm talking about. BUT, instead we pray for their hearts to become humbled.

I have recently re-encountered one of those "mean girls". She was a mean girl to someone I know and love very much. She and some of her mean friends (boys and girls) shaped and hurt this person more than you can imagine. As the years have passed, I started seeing more and more of this mean girl. It has become very apparent that some people NEVER change. They might even get worse. 

The jabs that this girl has thrown at me have left me quite taken aback. They were cheap jabs, too, in front of other people. Most of them were regarding things that I own that may be a little worn, tattered, or in her opinion, out-of-style and sometimes my clothing. The more I think about them the more it hurts and the more I wish I had fired back, leaving her equally wounded and embarrassed. But I chose one more time not to stoop and to bite my tongue...and boy! is that hard!!!!

I shared this with Shan. He gave me his usual level-headed response. "Claudia, don't worry about her. It will come back to her." Frustrated, I disagreed and told him it wouldn't because she's THAT girl, the one who gets away with treating people like crap to make herself feel better. But, I know it will come back to her. We talked about how insecure and sad she must be. I wouldn't sleep well knowing I had treated someone that way. 

We have too many friends and activities in common to avoid each other. SOO...From now on, I will find my strength and defense in THE WORD and knowing that the things she is judging or criticising about me are all surface things (my clothing---I'm no fashionista but I do ok, my house---which is very nice and serves the purpose, my car---which is a Honda Odyssey and I'm not sure what's wrong with that at all, etc.). However, one thing she will never be able to criticise (and happens to be the most important thing) is my character and personality. I take comfort in that and knowing that it's truly about her, not me.

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head."

-Romans 12:19-20

I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.

-Psalm 18:3

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.

-Romans 12:14

Here goes...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! It's time to start all over again!

I have a love/hate relationship with the new year. Every year. I love the idea of being able to start fresh. Even though today (1-1-11) is really no different from yesterday, it just feels different. Fresh. Ya know? I hate it because I will once again be holding myself to a list of goals. Some I accomplish. Some I don't. It's the ones that I don't that bring me down. Soooo...This year I'm going to try to set realistic goals for myself from which my family and I may benefit. I started pondering my goals for 2011 about 12 months ago because I very quickly bombed on last year's and decided to start over this year.

As I posted earlier, 2010 was a bit on the yuck side for us and I feel there is definitely room for improvement. When reading these, you may think "gosh, she doesn't already do that!" And NO! I don't. Or I used to and have just REALLY fallen off the wagon in some areas!!! So here goes...

My friend Bevy over at It's a Golden Day has a great method to her madness of goal setting. Mine is quite similar and taken from one of my favorite organizational books More Hours in My Day by Emilie Barnes and Sheri Torelli. Their chapter on goal setting is right up my alley. They suggest choosing a mission statement or theme verse for you/your family and writing your goals according to categories, prioritizing, and making them measurable.

Our family theme verse for 2011: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as if working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. - Colossians 3:23-24
My Goals:

Spiritual-
a. Attend church more regularly (at least 2x/month)
b. Be more consistent with daily devotionals (Shan- 5x/week, The boys- 3x/week)
c. Pray nightly with my boys
Health/Beauty-
a. Schedule routine check-ups (which I have been avoiding/making excuses for) by January 31, 2011
b. Go to the gym/exercise at least 200x this year
c. Eat 5 fruits and veggies a day
d. Start taking a multi vitamin daily (again)
e. Treat myself monthly to something cosmetic (hair, nails, massage, new make up item...I am better than the back burner!)
Family/Household-
a. Make a weekly menu plan (again)
b. Make weekly trips to the grocery store (again)
c. Have a family game/activity night 2x/month
d. Schedule a date night in 1x/month and date night out 1x/month
e. Arrange visits to in-laws and grandad 1x/month
f. Visit with mom at least 1x/week
g. Invite mom and dad over at least 1x/month
Financial-
a. Have a weekly "Dave Ramsey" budget meeting with Shannon
b. Increase our emergency fund $x,000 by June 1, 2011
Professional-
a. Register for and complete 2 courses towards SC teaching certification by June 1, 2011
b. Change business name and update website by April 1, 2011
c. Establish accounts with at least 2 local businesses to rep my designs
Mental Health/Personal-
a. Repeat notes to self to daily: "Act the way I want to feel" - Gretchen Rubin The Happiness Project; "Energy begets energy" -Bob Green; "Worry less, act more."- Zig Ziglar
b. Read at least 6 fiction books this year (sad, I know.)
Social-
a. Send cards and/or gifts/make phone calls to family and close friends on birthdays/special occasions
b. Have play dates/sleep-overs for my boys at least 1x/month
c. Schedule dinner (in or out) with friends at least 1x/month
Community Service-
a. Get involved with an out reach mission at our church this year
b. Send boys to collect for Harvest Hope at least 2x this year

And there you have it!

With your support, I can be held accountable. With your prayers, I will hopefully be successful.

XO

Merry Merry!!!

The What's Bakin'? Christmas Card 2010

We hope you all have had a MAGICAL morning and continue to have a blessed day!

Merry Christmas!!!

Service

Before we say "goodnight", The Shan and I take about 5-10 minutes to do a devotional for couples. The one for last night was on living by a "non-negotiable list" and praying on how to apply each one. This is the list posted on the devotional:

1. Seek God, not sin.

2. Fear God, not man.

3. Love God, not the world.

4. Believe God, not the deceiver.

5. Obey God, not your appetites.

6. Serve God, not self.

7. Worship God, not comfort.

I haven't blogged in several days because it seems that the "volunteer bus" ran slam over me!!! Soooo, when I read this last night, the one that slapped me in the face the most was #6 -Serve God, not self.

I love volunteering and helping others, BUT-----I feel like sometimes when I sign up to "help", I'm not really serving God or others. I say yes to the task because I worry that I will hurt someone's feelings or they will think ill of me if I say no. So, ultimately I am serving myself and trying to justify myself!

When I agree to voulnteer, I quickly forget all the strain it puts on the other aspects of my life; scheduled meetings which take me away from my family, busy-work during the day which causes me to neglect my home and spend less time with my children. I wind up feeling out-of-sorts, guilty, and not so justified, afterall. And all of this because I didn't want to let someone down (...which in a nutshell, is where I am and how I've been for a couple of months now.)

Don't get me wrong! I LOVE a good cause, contributing to my church, and lending a helping hand to my children's school, but none of those things really justify or define who I am in God's sight. I am not justified or serving God at all just because my daily agenda is maxed. It only means I'm over-committed from trying to serve myself and have others justify me.

I have been thinking a lot recently about what defines me and how I am justified. And really, I should look no further for justification than our Lord! I am quite good enough for Him and that is what truly matters. Nothing else should matter. I am now commited to only serving others when I feel I am also serving God. I have no intentions to put all my current commitments to rest. I will gladly finish all that I have started. I will continue to participate in the ones that don't leave me to be justified by someone/thing else. However, in the future, I will NOT say yes immediately, nor will I justify myself by being the girl who always says "yes" and I will only "serve" if it means I'll be serving God!

Practical Tip- (see #6 list above)
Practically Put- But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.
-Joshua 24:15

Practically Yours,

An update

A simple equation for my readers:

+

+

=

I am a speech therapist by trade and a stay at home mom by the grace of God, the hard work of The Yard Man, and the little sacrifices we make as a family. In an earlier post I was struggling with how I could use my degree and still be at home with my MM's. I also want to still be able to use my talents and keep my creative juices flowing. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?!

Which leads me to my update on a few things...

# 1- So I have been researching part-time speech therapy prospects and have a couple "in my pocket goin' jing-a-ling-a-ling". (Go on...I hear ya...sing it sista.---I loved that song.) The extra cashola sure would be nice and it would keep my foot in the do' for future speech gigs. Not to mention with these particular prospects I would be available for my little MM's. I just gotta keep praying one of them will work out.

# 2- I have been trying to revamp my business website Letter Bugz Social Stationery! I have decided to move away from stationery and focus more on my themed invitations with coordinating thank you notes, favor labels, and address labels, as well as photo cards. I will also be adding children's birthday party services soon. These will include a variety of services such as; custom invitation packages, inspiration boards, handmade decor, and full-service party planning for a WIDE range of budgets! I have been praying for a while now for God to help me use my talents in a way that others may also benefit and the LORD knows how much I love planning fun parties and entertaining! So, I am going to give this a shot and I am hoping He will give me the strength and knowledge I need to get this up and running. Word of mouth is the best advertisement, so I also hope I can count on your support and prayers as I dive in to something new.

# 3- On an organizational note: Daily I think about how much I enjoy planning parties and celebrating birthdays. But at least three times a year I am reminded exactly how much I LOOOOOOOVE it! Well it's one of those times of the year. Tomorrow, September 9th, is MM2's 5th birthday. I can't believe it! About a month or so ago, I asked MM2 what kind of party he'd like. He said he wanted an Ice Cream social! So I have been hard at work shopping around for specials on supplies for DIY decorations and all the party necessities! Details to come!!!
 I have been plundering through photos of the past 5 years to include in MM2's celebration of life presentation at school. This reminded me that back in the summer I began organizing all my printed photos from 1974 to present and got stuck somewhere in the early 2000's. I need to get on it again! I was on a mission and I have fallen off the wagon. But Hobby Lobby and Target have great stylish photo boxes for storage and I bought a few last time they were on sale. Organizing photos makes projects like this very easy...only MM2 was born in 2005 and I didn't make it that far in "operation photo organization".

Any who...just an update.

Practical Tip- I am trusting in the Lord. He knows me best of all and it will work out the way it is supposed to!

Practically Put- Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6

Practically yours,