Qualified

I have been drafting this post for a little while now and kept debating over whether or not to post it. It's not really a controversy. It's just a mama's heart and her passion for her perfectly imperfect children.

And then today, I felt inspired to post this because of this. My dear friend posted it on Facebook and it gave me the nudge.
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Qualified.

It's a word I have heard way too much of recently.

"Did y'all qualify for anything?" "What is he qualified for?" "Was he state identified and qualified? Or qualified for the school year?"

Qualified? For what?

Middle school class placement. AAP or Regular.

There has been so much chatter among the 5th graders and parents. The pressure is palpable. You feel almost forced to join in, no matter how much you said you wouldn't.

For something I had decided to put in God's hands to turn into such angst is just torture. I had made up my mind that I was not going to let it bother our family, but the chatter is everywhere I have turned. I couldn't help but become wrapped up in it, thinking I wasn't fighting enough for the desirable title of advanced placement in middle school academia for my child.

Word of Caution: As a first time 5th grade parent, at every turn you'll hear one seasoned middle-school parent advise that "it will all be okay". Yet other seasoned and some not-so-seasoned parents advise that they MUST qualify for Advanced Placement because you'd be a fool to let your child be in classes with all "those kinds of people" (real quote).

Well, I have taken both sides to heart. I've been relieved that it'll all be okay and anxious at the same time. I've asked questions - lots, and made phone calls to the "officials".

And then it suddenly occurred to me that average (regular) has been reduced to "those kinds of people".

As I've become more and more anxious, I'm sure my poor child has too.

So here are my questions for the tens of people who read my blog...
Why are we doing this? When did being average become not good enough?

I know lots of really awesome average people.

For starters, my husband. He's average for sure, if you judge him by his middle school through college test scores. But he's still average in lots of ways and manages to have a very important job with a very large company. He amazes me every day and makes me and his parents very proud.

Me? I am average too. Actually, in 1985 this learning disabled little girl would not have "qualified" for anything but "the dumb reading group". Well, it took me a while, but I went on to graduate from college as a Speech Therapist... with HONORS! (Thank you very much, Ms. Mitchell. I wonder if she reads this blog and counts my typos, overuse of commas, and grammatical errors? I sure hope so.)

Can y'all help me with making average okay again? It would really do a couple of generations of people a whole-lotta good.

So back to the question.

Is Sam qualified? Absolutely! He was "qualified" in God's plan long before I knew he'd be mine.
Recently, I've been praying for the right scripture to share with him, to give him a boost for the days when he thinks he's not good enough or "qualified". Maybe you can share a verse or two with someone you know who struggles with being average.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. -Ephesians 2:10
        
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. -Psalm 139:13-14
 
But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. -Isaiah 64:8

Reading those makes me feel far more than average. You?

Any who... go hug and high-five your average child.

A Year of Firsts

It's been an entire year now.

I can still hear my mom as if I was still in that very moment. "Honey, it's going to be a sad day." Her voice was so incredibly strong while delivering such grim news. The only sense I can make of the strength in mom's voice is that she knew, without out a doubt, the soul of her sister was now in the hands of God.

It was inevitable. Her suffering had gone on for too long.

But still. Not even a handwritten notice from God could have prepared us for the moment she left our world.

She is missed far more than she would want to be. She didn't like for people to make a fuss over her.

Mom and I frequently say, "Oh my word, I wish we could call her because she would love this story!" And sometimes I think I hear her laughing at us. 

We have made it through a year of "firsts" without her. Some harder than others. But the memories of our time together help soothe us.

A few of the many little reminders throughout this past year come to mind...

Easter hand towels

Banana pudding

Well-used cookie sheets

Holiday-themed t-shirts

Crocheted sun hats

The saved last birthday cards

Novelty socks for the boys

Taco Soup

Cooking shows

A REALLY good glass of wine

Nutcrackers 

Keepsake Christmas ornaments

and sometimes it's just a smell or the way the air feels

Divinely, her life verse has continued to pop up throughout the last year in all sorts of circumstances, and I know it is His way of letting her speak to me.

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. -Psalm 19:14

 

We cling to the promise of seeing her again. And know that it will be even sweeter than the sweetest memories. 

Still loving and missing "My Laynie".

 

New-found Lego Love

Legos.

Legos. Legos. Legos.

You know 'em. The little plastic blocks with sharp edges that feel oh so great to step on in the dark? Yeah. Those things. It'll make you say words that would make a sailor blush! Or how about the bottomless pit somewhere that's full of all the missing pieces to sets? And if I had a penny for every one that has clinked into my vacuum...whoops, I'd be a millionaire for sure. 

I've never been a fan. I'm too ADD to follow the plans. I'd also rather make something that's in my head with all those tiny bricks, than follow "the plan".

With three boys, my house has been littered with Legos for about 5 or 6 years now. Sam has not been a huge fan, but liked them ok. But then there's Fulton,  The Lego Master Builder. Obsessed. And now there's Oliver, who likes {me or Fulton} to put together the sets, but would really rather play with the mini figures. He's obsessed too!

At any rate, they are on my kitchen table and counters, in my car, in Shan's car, in the bathtub, down in my sofa, on the stairs, on every surface in Fulton's room, on Sam's dresser, on Oliver's floor, and even on the front porch from time to time. I've tried organizing systems, but none have worked. To say that we are a Lego family would be an understatement. So I've just embraced the mess. And I can say they were not my favorite things until...

 

The Lego Movie! 

 

During the wintery weather, I took the boys along with a few friends and their mommas to see the movie. I was excited for them, but not super thrilled to watch a movie about the things I pick up 50 times a day. Fulton and Oliver literally counted down the days to Friday - the big day. So excited!

Well I was pleasantly surprised, because it is super cute! It's packed with age appropriate action and suspense for the kids and great adult humor. Kind of a Toy Story for Legos. 

It's funny how I see them differently now. Some moms and I were laughing about all the Legos we've "lost" or sucked up over the years and how guilty we feel after seeing the movie. Ha! It will change the way you think, mommas!

So if you have a little Lego lover in your house, it is a must see! I can't wait for it to come out on DVD.

Precious.